"Yesterday today was tomorrow"

"Vision without action is like a daydream, action without a vision is a nightmare"

"Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive"

"The best way to foresee the future is to create it"

"Step two in evolution is to think of more than your ass."

"Knowledge is NOT power, the USE of knowledge is power."

"If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly"

"Wanting something too much can hurt as much as not wanting it nearly enough."

"It's tragic that the first thing we notice about a person usually matters the least."

"Loneliness would be the world's oldest profession, if it paid."

"A man talking sense to himself is no more insane than a man talking nonsense not to himself...or just as insane."

"People who "don't watch television" aren't as clever as they think. How can you see the world outside by closing the windows?"

"There are two kinds of people: 
those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and
those who don't."

"Remember, if you smile, no one will suspect you"

"Do not modify spaghetti code unless you can eat the consequences..."

"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is still better than nothing."

"Justice is like good oral sex: you must give it to others to receive it yourself."

"Money can't buy everything, but it can buy guns. And you can get all kinds of things with a gun."

"The surgical procedure used to removed stupidity from the brain is called a gun."